Are you at the point in your writing where you want to throw in the towel and just quit already? Being a writer is one of the hardest things anyone can do. How do you get past your writing slump, writer's block, or general frustration with your writing so you can keep on going when it gets hard? Read this article for a powerful way to conquer the urge to quit

How to Keep Writing When It Gets Hard

January 13, 2019

Are you at the point in your writing where you want to throw in the towel and just quit already? Being a writer is one of the hardest things anyone can do. How do you get past your writing slump, writer's block, or general frustration with your writing so you can keep on going when it gets hard? Read this article for a powerful way to conquer the urge to quit

How to Keep Writing When It Gets Hard

January 13, 2019

MY NAME'S KELSEY AND I'M A BOOK SLUT

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Would I say my reading addiction is a problem?

Would you consider the fact that I've blown my daughter's future college fund on new books an issue? Cool, me either. I knew we'd be friends.

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Are you at the point in your writing where you want to throw in the towel and just quit already? Being a writer is one of the hardest things anyone can do. How do you get past your writing slump, writer's block, or general frustration with your writing so you can keep on going when it gets hard? Read this article for a powerful way to conquer the urge to quit

If Writing Feels Awful, You’re Doing it Right

If writing, or merely thinking about writing, feels absolutely terrible, that’s great news.

Why?

Because it means you’re doing it right.

Our brains like to feel efficient. Anytime we do something new, our brains freak out and try to convince us to stay where it’s safe, warm, and familiar.  

Simply put—navigating new terrain brings up doubt, fear, anxiety, and overwhelm to name a few.

And when these bad feelings come up, we get the urge the quit.

Why?

Because quitting feels better than trying.

When we quit, the fear, doubt, and the rest go away. Your brain can once again rest easy and go back to doing what it knows.

So how do we combat the urge to quit?

Get Comfortable with the Discomfort

In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how every dream, no matter what it is, comes with its own flavor of sh*t sandwich. Horrible imagery, but it’s so true.

Working towards your dream feels awful.

There are two common traits in all successful people: They take Massive Action and they’re really, really comfortable with being uncomfortable.

For whatever reason, we believe negative feelings must be avoided at all costs.

But it’s actually okay to feel negatively. In fact, feelings are just vibrations in our body. They aren’t capable of doing any actual harm.

Think about that for a minute—It’s okay to feel bad. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable.

When you sit down in front of a blank screen to write, do you instantly open Facebook to try to avoid the negative feelings that come up?

What if next time you acknowledge the negative feelings and even welcome them? Remember, discomfort is a good thing. It means you’re doing it right.

A mantra that will help you get through the hard parts of your writing sessions: I feel really uncomfortable and that’s okay. I’m doing it right.

Get cozy with discomfort and you’ll be unstoppable.

In the pillar post 2 Steps To Your Writing Breakthrough we go through the Thought→ Feeling→ Action→ Result Model* in detail. If you haven’t checked it out yet, do so!

Let’s build two models, one for when you’re too consumed with bad feelings to work and another that will allow you to work despite negative emotions. We’ll call these the Unintended Model and the Intended Model, respectively.

Unintended Model

Circumstance—Writing project.

Thought: This is horrible. I’m a terrible writer.

Feeling: Defeated.

Action: Stop writing and avoid it at all cost.

Result: Don’t keep writing and thus, do not get any better at writing.

As you can see, that’s a thought that creates inaction. This is what we don’t want.

Once you find the thought that’s creating the feeling, action, and result you don’t want, it’s time to find a better-feeling (and believable!) thought.

Intended Model

Circumstance—Writing project.

Thought: The more I write, the better I’ll get.

Feeling: Determined.

Action: Keep writing.

Result: Finish writing project and thus, get better at writing.

Do you see how deliberately choosing a thought can be the difference between writing and quitting?

Don’t Worry About “The How”

A huge reason a lot of people don’t accomplish their goals, or don’t even start, is because they “don’t know how”.

Anytime you imagine what you want to create, your brain will demand to know “The How” of it. It will instantly feed you all the reasons it’s impossible: You can’t do it because of X. There’s no way that can happen because of Y. You don’t have the Z to make it happen.

“The How” is a trap.

“The How”—the actual steps you’ll take to bring your dream to life—will only happen with action. It will never, ever happen by simply thinking.

Until you’re in the midst of it, until you’re sitting down and creating every single day, “The How” is a mystery.

When your brain demands to know how you’ll get over this hurdle or how you’ll make the seemingly impossible happen, just tell it that’s not important right now. “The How” will always appear when you begin to do. It’s a by-product of action.

Your Definiteness of Purpose (otherwise known as your chosen calling) is so powerful because it provides clarity and erases confusion. That clarity is the exact power you need. No fancy plan, no intricate course of action—just the decision to choose your goal day after day.

Let’s do the Unintended/ Intended Models exercise, this time for when our brain is freaking out about “The How”.

Unintended Model

Circumstance—Plan to write a book.

Thought: I have no idea how to write a book. This will never happen.

Feeling: Incapable.

Action: Skip writing sessions and avoid writing anything.

Result: No book is written.

In the Unintended Model we can see what the ultimate outcome is when we worry about “The How”.

Let’s plug in a different (but believable) thought and see what changes.

Intended Model

Circumstance—Plan to write a book.

Thought: I currently have no idea how to write a book, but that’s okay. Everything is figureoutable.

Feeling: Capable.

Action: Start writing. Do research. Write, edit, repeat.

Result: Eventually write a book.

Aha—our desired result. Now, of course the Intended Model didn’t happen overnight. That’s several thousand of hours condensed into one Model, but we can see how different our realities would be based on what we’re thinking.

The Difference Between Achieving and Failing

Every day you get to choose how you think about your Definiteness of Purpose.

You can choose to think “this is impossible. It’s never going to happen” or you can choose to think “I have no idea how it’s going to happen, but I know it will happen”.

Think about this for a minute—neither one of those scenarios have happened yet. They are both future occurrences. You have no proof for either. Does one seem more likely than the other? Perhaps. But they are both just guesses of how the future will unfold.

It’s just as possible to choose one scenario to believe as it is to choose the other.

Why not choose the outcome where your goal is met?

Every day, as doubt plagues you and inadequacies flood your mind, choose to believe that you’ll meet your Definiteness of Purpose. Choose that belief day after day.

Let’s do our Unintended and Intended Models.

Unintended Model

Circumstance—Plan to write a book.

Thought: This is impossible. It’s never going to happen.

Feeling: Discouraged.

Action: Skip writing sessions.

Result: No book is written.

That’s one possible future. We can choose to believe our goal is impossible and thus, it becomes impossible.

Or we can choose to believe it will happen.

Intended Model

Circumstance—Plan to write a book.

Thought: I’m on my way to figuring out how to write a book.

Feeling: Confident.

Action: Sit down and write. Keep going despite being uncomfortable.

Result: Eventually write a book.

Writing is supposed to be hard! Embrace the difficulty, choose to be uncomfortable, tell your brain to stop asking about “The How”, and believe hard!

Has the Unintended/ Intended Model practice helped you push past writing obstacles? If so, please share in the comments below!!

*The Model was created by Master Coach Brooke Castillo. She’d love for you to use it and share it, but make sure to give her credit!

Explore more categories:  Writer's Mindset, Writing Advice

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MY NAME'S KELSEY AND I'M A BOOK SLUT

Categories

Would I say my reading addiction is a problem?

Would you consider the fact that I've blown my daughter's future college fund on new books an issue? Cool, me either. I knew we'd be friends.

BOOK Lists

KINDLE DIRECT PUBLISHING

CHICK LIT WRITING ADVICE

popular posts

The best of Wilmington

How to host a wine tasting

Decorating with Flowers

Best of Boho Outdoors

insiDer

become an

SUPER JUICY BOOK NEWS AND PUBLISHING TIPS
DELIVERED WEEKLY

BOOKISH THINGS